Rasputin, the Dwarf (Hamster)

Hello, Manufactured Environments readers. My name is Abby, and I am the most recent addition to the blogging team here at M.E. I recently returned to Iowa City from a summer internship in Washington, DC. Immediately upon returning to my tiny apartment, I felt a quietude and loneliness that was much unexpected. I tried to discern the reasons for the seeming void, when it dawned on me — my pet hamster was not here to keep me company. I have often remarked that I hate having roommates, primarily because of all the freaks I ended up being paired up with in college. But there is something special and comforting about having a hamster for a roommate that is very difficult to describe or explain.

For as many years as I can remember, I have always had a pet hamster at any given time. Because I would be living in a dormitory over the summer that did not allow pets, however, I decided to have my mother watch little Nicodemus. In trying to be a good grandmotherly caretaker to the little guy, she decided to buy him a new wheel. This was meant as a home warming gift of sorts. What she hadn’t bargained for, however, was how much the little rodent would like the wheel. She called me after the first day to tell me how much Little Nicky was exercising and how she had never seen a hamster run so much. Unfortunately, the next day she called to tell me she had never seen a hamster sleep so much; and that, my friends, was the beginning of the end for Nicodemus. Apparently Zach Braff was right in his inclusion of a plotline into Garden State that included a hamster funeral for the departure of a hamster who didn’t know when to stop running. At the time I saw the movie, I thought things like that never happened. I was dead wrong.

So, as I have always done in the past, I will persevere. I have to. Life goes on. And, after all, as my mother is fond of saying, there are other hamsters in the pet store. Well, actually, she has always said “other fish in the sea,” but it can be applicable to small rodents too. I need a new furry roommate. So, I will venture to Petland here in Iowa City soon to pick out a new friend. It is unfortunate that so many of my hamsters have died at such young ages. While they are supposed to be able to live up to 2 years, I can count on one paw the number who have lived past 6 months.

In my efforts to send good vibes toward my new pet hamster, I intend to name him Rasputin. I hope this name will be auspicious. The name, which is Russian, is very appropriate, because the hamsters I buy are Siberian Dwarves. Rasputin, as you may recall, was a Russian mystic who advised several important Russian rulers during the Romanov Dynasty. The interesting thing about him, though, is how difficult it was for his would-be assassins to kill him. Indeed, he survived being stabbed, poisoned, and shot three times. Ultimately, he was drowned to death. But, the point is, he persevered. I need a hamster who will do the same and not succumb so easily to death. So, I will name my next hamster Rasputin in the hopes that he can wear the name proudly and live up to his name-sake’s reputation. If you have other suggestions, though, for good Russian names to call my soon-to-be hamster-roommate, please let me know.